At age 40, success is having money.
At age 55, success is having sex.
At age 70, success is having a driver's license.
At age 75, success is having friends.
At age 80, success is not pooping your pants.
At age 100, success is being alive.
Thứ Tư, 5 tháng 8, 2020
Billy spots a pack of condoms
Billy is out shopping with his father at the supermarket when Billy sees a condom stand, each displaying server packages of condoms. He points to a three pack and asks " what is this for?" "That's for when you're in high school" explains his father. "You use one on Friday night and two on Saturday night". Billy then points to a six pack and asks about it too. "That's for when you're in collage. You use two on Friday night, three on Saturday night, and one at Sunday morning". Finally, Billy points to a twelve pack. "That's for when you're married. You use one in January, one in February, One in March..."
Thứ Ba, 4 tháng 8, 2020
Three men, aged 40, 60 and 80, discuss their sex lives
The 40-year old says: "When my wife and I were just married, we'd do it every single day. Any position you could imagine. But now I'm lucky if we can average once a week".
The 60-year old man responds: "Once a week? Just wait till you get to my age. Once a month is what I consider an active sex life".
The 80-year old man laughs and shakes his head. "What a sad pair you two make. I'm an old fart and I bang my wife almost every day of the week". The other two look at him in disbelief. "It's true", he says, "almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday,..."
3 nurses walk into a patient's bedroom only to find him dead.
The first nurse goes to check on him and notices that he had a massive erection so she tells the other nurses to give him a good send off by have sex with him. The first nurse does it and stops after getting tired. The second does the same and stops to share with the third nurse. The third nurse was a bit reluctant to do it because she was on her period and she felt embarrassed to show the other nurses. Eventually she gives into her desires and has sex with him and all of a sudden the man wakes up. The nurses are baffled and wonders what happened until the man says, " thanks ladies after 2 jump starts and a blood transfusion i feel fucking amazing."
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