A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says,"I think I might be a type O."

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My psychiatrist and I had a major breakthrough.

Now he can hear the voices too.

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One bird can't finish an entire bowl of Fruit Loops...

...but Toucan.

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I told my wife she shouldn’t get upset when people call her fat

Because she’s bigger than that.

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Last night my wife asked me if I wanted to dress up as a clown, hide in the drains and scare her

but I didn't really feel like It.

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My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children

If anybody else does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

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Scientists claim its impossible to fold a piece of paper 8 times.

They have obviously never seen me wiping my ass when there is only one sheet of toilet paper left.

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