Because they literally can’t even.
Thứ Bảy, 8 tháng 8, 2020
Three married women are having a "girls only" night out
NOTE: I'm TRYING TO TRANSLATE THIS JOKE FROM MY LANGUAGE TO ENGLISH HOPE IT TRANSLATES WELL AND SORRY FOR BAD GRAMMAR
They are enjoying a lovely evening talking about their lives as they usually do every week when they meet up, one of them is particularly excited and fails to hide her excitement.
So one of the girls asks her: "So, are you gonna tell us what happened? You are clearly failing to hide your excitement this evening".
"Ok, I'll tell you girls" The woman replies "I had the best sex in my life yesterday, I followed a friend's advice and my husband went on all night long with me, we basically made some fireworks"
The other two women then, surprised by her revelation start asking questions on what did she do, until she gives up and tells them:
"Ok, the secret is this, Mark was having a shower, I waited for him to be finished, I touched his balls and whispered him: 'those balls seems hot', then he basically lifted me from the ground and brought me to bed"
"This seems so easy girl!" One of her friends yells out aloud when she finishes, "I'm gonna try it with Paul tomorrow!"
Fast forward to the next week the three women meet again and now even the second girl is barely containing her excitement to tell the other two what happened.
"You were right!" She tells the other two as soon as they meet up. "I waited for Paul to be out of the shower, grabbed his balls, and whispered to him that they were hot... and that's right! He went on and on all night long"
So the third woman, the shyest one, grows curious and tells them. "Ok, might as well try it out"
The next week the three women meet again but the shy one seems very sad and it's very quiet.
The other two timidly ask her: "So... did something happen?" At that point, she starts to cry.
"YES! I and John are now divorcing and all because of you! I did exactly what you did but didn't end well at all!"
"Wait.. what?" They reply visibly concerned
"You heard me well!" She yells them in anger. "I waited for him to get out of the shower touched his balls and then said to him 'wait, why aren't your balls hot? Paul and Mark had hot ones!'"
This is an old joke but my husband told me to never tell it again!
3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea”
There was once an old man who lived by a forest.
As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children for a meeting.
He said, "My hair used to be so magnificent, but it's gone now. My hair can't be saved, but look at the forest. It's so full of trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do," The man continued. "is every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was.
All because of one man, and his re-seeding heirline.
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