They’re a non-prophet organization
Chủ Nhật, 16 tháng 8, 2020
A husband walks into the bedroom to see his wife packing a suitcase.
He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Nevada . I heard that prostitutes there get paid $400 for what I'm doing for YOU for FREE!"
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies,
"I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year."
A Mouse and A Lion walk into a Bar
They’re sitting there chugging away at a few beers when a giraffe walks in. “Get a load of her” says the mouse, “I fancy that!”
“Well, why not try your luck?” says the lion.
So the mouse goes over to the giraffe and starts talking to her, and within five minutes they’re out the door and gone into the night.
The next day, the lion is in the bar and the mouse staggers in.
The mouse is absolutely ragged, worn out, ruined.
The lion helps his pal up onto a stool, pours a drink down his throat and asks, “What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the giraffe, what happened after that? Was she all right?”
The mouse says “Yeah, she was really something else, she invited me back to her place to spend the night.
“But how come you look like you’re so exhausted?” asks the lion.
“Well”, says the mouse, “between the kissing and the screwing, I must have run a thousand miles!”
Thứ Bảy, 15 tháng 8, 2020
Mr. and Mrs. Keaton notice the young man staying next door always kisses his girlfriend every morning before heading to work.
"Why don't you do that?" Mrs.Keaton asks her husband.
"Darling, I don't even know the woman."
People need to stop calling me "Karen" It's so offensive.
Me: That's fine we'll go back to what we used to call you.
Karen: Thanks....
Me: You're welcome, Bitch.
A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant
He goes to the bartender and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender replies "$1". The customer completely amazed, orders a beer then asks the bartender "Well then how much for a NY sirloin, with side of mashed potatoes and salad, and an entire cheesecake for desert?" The Bartender reply's "$5".
The guy still amazed then orders everything and after he is done eating his meal then says "Wow, this place is amazing, I really wish I could meet the owner of this place". The bartender then says "Oh well, he's upstairs in his office with my wife".
The guy looks all confused then asks "What is he doing upstairs in his office with your wife?" The bartender then says "The same thing I'm doing to his business".
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