What’s the largest export of Great Britain?

Independence days

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are arrested and sentenced to death by firing squad, one by one.

While they wait to be executed they come up with a plan. Right before they are to be shot, each one will yell that some natural disaster or emergency is happening to distract the soldiers and they would be able to escape.

The brunette is first. As she hears the captain counting down to 0 she yells "TORNADO!" As the soldiers duck for cover, she scales the wall of the prison and escapes to freedom.

The redhead is next. As she hears the captain counting down to 0 she yells "EARTHQUAKE!" As the soldiers duck for cover, she scales the wall of the prison and escapes to freedom.

Last is the blonde. As she hears the captain counting down to 0 she yells "FIRE!"

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I’m done being a people pleaser

If everyone’s ok with that

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Today I came out to my parents, and my dad instantly wanted to disown me.

Luckily, my other dad talked him out of it

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My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt."

So I took off her shirt.

Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."

So I took off her skirt.

Then she says, "Take off my bra and panties..."

So I took off her bra and panties.

Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"

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Why is nostalgia like grammar?

We find the present tense and the past perfect

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What is something with 8 eyes, 8 legs, and 8 hands?

8 pirates

My little brother told me this joke and I am so proud of him.

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