I told her I was more into anal and feet. Now I’m banned from KFC.
Thứ Tư, 26 tháng 8, 2020
A blonde and a lawyer are on a plane
And they’re sitting next to each other. The lawyer gets bored and decides to play a game.
He asks the blonde to join. The lawyer says “we’ll each ask each other a trivia question. If you get it right, you earn $5. If you get it wrong, the other person earns $5.”
Well, the blonde isn’t really interested. She turns away as if to take a nap. The lawyer says “okay okay okay, how about this. If I ask you a question and you get it wrong, you give me $5. But if you ask a question and I get it wrong, I’ll give you $100,00.”
Obviously now the blonde is interested, so she decides to play. The lawyer asks his question first. “What’s the distance between the Earth and the Moon?” Well, the blonde doesn’t know. So she hands the lawyer $5.
Now it’s the blonde’s turn. She asks the lawyer “what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”
The lawyer is stumped. What could possibly go up a hill with three legs and come down with four? He begins to sweat. He starts asking other passengers. He pays for the in-flight internet to email his lawyer friends. Nobody knows. Nobody can help him.
Reluctantly, he writes a $100,00 check to the blonde. She smirks, takes his check, pockets it, and turns over, again wishing to get back to her nap.
The lawyer shakes her. “Hey wait,” he said. “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”
The blonde hands him $5.
A blind man walks into a bar.
He sits down, and orders a drink. After a little while he speaks up, “Hey bartender, want to hear a blonde joke?”
A hush falls across the bar. The woman to his left responds,
“you’re blind, so it’s only far that you know this. The bartender is a 30 year old blonde woman. The woman to your right is a blonde alligator wrestler. I am a blonde professional wrestler. The woman next to me is a blonde cop. Are you sure you still want to say that joke?”
The blind man thinks for a bit, but then he responds,
“Nah, not if I’m going to have to explain it four fucking times!”
When I was about 9 years old, my father forced me to go with him to the funeral of a friend of his, that I didn't know.
When we got there, I stayed in a corner, waiting for time to pass by. Then a man approached me and said, "Enjoy life boy, be happy because time flies. Look at me now.... I didn't enjoy it." He then passed his hand over my head and left.
My father, before leaving, forced me to say goodbye to the dead person. When I looked in the coffin, I was startled that the man who was talking to me when I was in the corner was the same man in the coffin!
For several years later, I was not able to sleep properly. With repeated nightmares and psychological disorder, I was terrified of being alone. I visited many psychologists. I didn't turn off the light at night and several other turmoil that I had to endure throughout my adolescent ages....
Years later I discovered something incredible that changed my life.
That dead idiot had a twin brother.
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