Why haven't aliens come to our solar system yet?

They read the reviews,

One star

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"Yoda, are you sure we're headed in the right direction?"

"Off course we are"

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I got a vasectomy but my gf still got pregnant.

Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the color of the baby.

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Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident

When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are paedophile, there’s no point waiting here. Just fuck off straight to hell!"

Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away.

St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!"

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If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN

you get them VERY ANGRY

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An Arab student emails his dad:

An Arab student emails his dad:

Dear Dad,

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son, Nasser.

The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:

My dear loving son,

Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.

Love, your Dad

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The sexiest mythological creature is Medusa

Whenever I see her I get rock hard

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