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Chủ Nhật, 30 tháng 8, 2020

All countries eventually got Coronavirus...

But China got it right off the bat

A 15-year old boy came home with a Porsche.

His parents began to yell and scream. “Where did you get that car?”

He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”

“With what money?” Demanded his parents. “We know how much a Porsche costs!”

“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”

The parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a car like this for fifteen dollars!?” They asked.

“It was the lady up the street,” said the boy, “don’t know her name— they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”

“Oh my goodness!” Gasped the mother, “she must be a child abuser! Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what’s going on.”

So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in her yard calmly planting flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy she sold the Porsche to for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why.

“Well,” she said, “this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn’t intend to come back. He claimed he was really stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did.”

Thứ Bảy, 29 tháng 8, 2020

A friend got mad at me for smelling his sister's underwear

I don't know if it was because she was still wearing them or because the rest of the family was there. Either way it made the rest of the funeral very awkward.

V

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*Edit: seems like the ctrl key on my keyboard is not working

What did the instructor at the school for Kamikaze pilots say to his students?

Watch closely. I’m only going to do this once.

Girl: Come over

Guy: I'm coming over

Girl: We should stop using Walkie-Talkies in bed over

What did the reddit user say after detonating a bomb inside the bank?

EDIT: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!