Just couldn't get a straight answer.
Chủ Nhật, 30 tháng 8, 2020
My neighbor grew tired of being a taxidermist after 15 years, and went to veterinarian school.
His new business never got off the ground so he decided to operate both his taxidermy and vet business together to save money. His new slogan was: "No Matter What Happens - You Get Your Cat Back."
A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman"
She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by email lately."
Later that day, the blonde teenager came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.
"Yes, she replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip.
“And, by the way," the teenager added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
A woman asked why her husband had been coming up with so many silly dad jokes recently.
He admitted to her that, since they had kids, their sex life had grown a bit stale.
Laughing, she grabbed a peach from the kitchen counter and pulled him toward her.
Slowly, seductively, she ate it while staring into his eyes, sucking the last of the pulp from the pit.
Then, while he stared on in disbelief, she used the pit to masturbate to completion, moaning all the while as she longingly stared at him.
When she finished, she gently beckoned him with her finger. He stood over her, slack-jawed, as she leaned back on the counter.
"So, what do you think about that, Mr. Dad Jokes?" she said with a smirk.
He grinned. "That...was mother fucking hard core."
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