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Thứ Năm, 3 tháng 9, 2020

The President is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun.

A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts "Mickey Mouse!" This startles the would be assassin and he is captured.

Later, the secret service agent's supervisor takes him aside and asks, "What in the hell made you shout Mickey Mouse?"

Blushing, the agent replies, "I got nervous. I meant to shout "Donald, duck!"

A man asks a farmer if he can work for a night's lodging and a meal.

Farmer gets a knock on his door, it's a man in his mid-thirties who looks like he's been traveling a while. The man asks if he could earn a meal and a place to stay for the night.

"Do you have any skills?" The farmer asks.

"Well, I do have a rare gift -- I can communicate with animals."

"...sure you can," the farmer says. "But I like your style. I'll put you to work."

So the man does a few chores around the farm and earns his meal. At dinner, he says to the farmer, "I know you don't believe me, but I actually do communicate with animals. I can prove it. I spoke to the hens, and they said you were there every morning before dawn to collect their eggs, and you've been doing so every day for years since your wife passed."

The farmer says, "Wow, that's exactly right!"

The man continues, "I spoke to your cow, and she said you've faithfully milked her every day before dawn, and you've been doing so every day for years since your wife passed."

The farmer says, "I'm amazed. That's true."

The man says, "And I spoke to your sheep..."

"That sheep's a fucking liar!"