She has the worst stutter ever.
Chủ Nhật, 6 tháng 9, 2020
Washing Machine
Husband and wife decide to make a password for sex, they decide on ‘washing machine’. Later in bed that night husband says, “Washing machine.” Wife replies, “Not tonight darling I have a headache.” Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, “Washing machine.” Husband replies, “Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.”
Thứ Bảy, 5 tháng 9, 2020
A joke that Abraham Lincoln told
I’ve never seen this joke here before, I read it in some biography long ago in my school days. This is a joke that actual President Lincoln told:
There was an American ambassador to England after the revolutionary war, and his bitter hosts wanted to antagonize him.
So they got a portrait of President Washington, and had it hung in the privy (toilet).
While they were negotiating something, the American Ambassador excused himself. His colleagues snickered and waited, but when the ambassadors emerged he didn’t appear upset.
They left the portrait where it was, but were perplexed by the American‘s indifference. They even began to wonder if he might be a loyalist sympathizer. Finally, one day when he returned from nature’s call, they asked him:
“What do you think of the art in the privy?”
“I can think of no more appropriate place for that portrait.”
The English are shocked, and the Ambassador continues,
“Nothing would scare the shit out of a British man as well as General George Washington.”
This is repeated from memory, but I love that President Lincoln told dirty jokes.
An Englishman is hiking in Scotland and he pauses to drink from a stream. A passing shepherd calls out "Dinnae drink frae that, it's all fulla coo piss an shite!"
The Englishman says to him in a cut-glass accent "I'm terribly sorry, my good fellow, would you very much mind repeating that in the Queen's English?"
And the shepherd says "I'm terribly sorry sir, I was only asking if you would like to borrow this tin cup and get a proper drink?"
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