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Thứ Bảy, 19 tháng 9, 2020

Jesus asks all his followers to grab a mighty rock and carry it to the top of the giant hill to pray.

Judas decides to be lazy and takes a tiny pebble with him. Everyone carries their rocks to the top and Jesus leads the prayer.

After they finish, while everyone is very tired and hungry, Jesus says, “Thank you, my brethren. As a reward, I shall turn your rocks into bread!” Thus, everyone has large loaves of bread, and Judas only has a crumb and is left hungry and embarrassed.

The next day, Jesus asks the same group of followers to grab a mighty rock and carry it to the top of the giant hill once again. This time, Judas rushes for the biggest boulder in the area, and then proceeds to use all the strength in his body to carry it atop the hill so that he could have the most bread out of spite and greed.

After the group prays atop the hill and everyone is very famished—especially Judas—Jesus says, “Thank you, my brethren. Now, cast those rocks aside, fore I have brought soda and hot dogs for everybody!”

If smoking marijuana causes short term memory loss

Than what does smoking marijuana do?

My mom asked me to bring her something hard to write on.

I have no clue why she got so mad. It's pretty fucking hard to write on sand.

Almost all coins look the same

This must be what we call a coincidence

I had a date last night and I really enjoyed it.

Tonight I'm going to have a fig!

Thứ Sáu, 18 tháng 9, 2020

Mike Tyson is a religious guy.

He punches people in the faith.