He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.
Thứ Bảy, 19 tháng 9, 2020
An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course child. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you," she replied.
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
Father replied, "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next please!"
A college professor started to notice that one of his students, John, started gaining lots of female attention.
So, one day he asks John about his secret. John replies, "Well, before sex I whip out my willy and smack it against the bedside table, like a hammer. It numbs it up and makes me last longer."
Later that day, the professor gets home to his wife and finds her in the shower - a welcome opportunity for sex. So, he quickly undresses and starts banging his dick against the dresser, just before hearing his wife calling from the shower:
"John, is that you?"
Jesus asks all his followers to grab a mighty rock and carry it to the top of the giant hill to pray.
Judas decides to be lazy and takes a tiny pebble with him. Everyone carries their rocks to the top and Jesus leads the prayer.
After they finish, while everyone is very tired and hungry, Jesus says, “Thank you, my brethren. As a reward, I shall turn your rocks into bread!” Thus, everyone has large loaves of bread, and Judas only has a crumb and is left hungry and embarrassed.
The next day, Jesus asks the same group of followers to grab a mighty rock and carry it to the top of the giant hill once again. This time, Judas rushes for the biggest boulder in the area, and then proceeds to use all the strength in his body to carry it atop the hill so that he could have the most bread out of spite and greed.
After the group prays atop the hill and everyone is very famished—especially Judas—Jesus says, “Thank you, my brethren. Now, cast those rocks aside, fore I have brought soda and hot dogs for everybody!”
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