Due to the recent cutbacks caused by the coronavirus Bruce was told he had to terminate one of his compliance managers.

Alice and Jack we're both exemplary employees and he honestly had no idea which one he would get rid of, but being an honest man he decided he'd speak to them both ahead of time thinking that it might help him make his decision. He called in Alice first and he said listen, I've either got to lay you or Jack off. Without batting an eye she responded "you better jack off, I have a terrible headache."

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Did you know too much sex can cause memory loss

I read that in a medical journal on page 34 at 3:23 pm last year on Wednesday November the 7th.

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Just found out from a time traveler who lost tonight’s debate!

America!

Enjoy the shit show. Cheers.

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A farmer exclaims: "I love my job!"

A farmer exclaims, "I love my job!"

"Your job sucks," replies one of his sheep.

"What did you say?!" asks the farmer.

"You herd me"

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Two cowboys are lost in the desert.

No food or drink. One of them spots a tree draped in bacon! He shouts “A bacon tree, we’re saved” and runs towards it. As he gets closer it shoots him full of bullets.

Turns out it wasn’t a bacon tree.

It was a ham bush

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I was looking for a sofa to buy, and the salesman pointed to one and said, “This one can seat three people without any problems.”

I said, “Where the hell am I going to find three people without any problems?”

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Not sure why r/Jokes doesn't have a flair called "Original Joke"

But now that I think about it, it's obvious.

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