Trump walks out of the white house and towards his limo...

... when an assassin jumps out and points his gun at Trump. A secret service agent who is on his first day of the job shouts "Mickey Mouse!" The would-be assassin is startled and another agent tackles him, foiling the attempt. Later, the secret service supervisor asks the new guy "What in the hell made you shout Mickey Mouse?" The agent reluctantly replies "I got nervous. I meant to shout Donald, duck!"...

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All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together.

At first it's boring, then it's riveting....

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Trump ends up in hell...

Trump dies from the virus. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Trump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving...

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Warning: 18+

19...

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An Atheist in Hell

An atheist dies and goes to hell The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit." They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys." The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No need to say thank you, everyone gets a nice place to live in when they come down here!" They continue walking through the nice park, flowers everywhere, and the devil shows the atheist a garage full of beautiful cars. "These are your cars now!" and hands...

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What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

Fat. You get fat. ​ You were expecting a joke about pi? On my cake day?...

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The Pope contracts a rare terminal illness.

The best specialists were quietly called in from around the world for consultation.After much debate and research they determined that the only hope to save the Pope's life was for him to have sexual relations with a woman. His advisors were notified and they in turn spoke in confidence with the pope. The Pope informs them that he needs a day to pray about it. ​ The next day the Pope summons his advisors and has the room sealed. "My sons, after much prayerful consideration I have an answer. I have decided that you shall arrange for this most unusual...

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