A scoutmaster and his girlfriend go hiking in the woods...

They take a break in a rocky clearing with odd writing. After a while, they get frisky, and decide to play a little game called hide the sausage. They look around for people even though they’re in the middle of nowhere. It seems all clear and they go for it. Little did they know, they were in the middle of an Indian burial ground.

As things were getting hot and heavy, the ground begins to rumble, and, soon enough, the devil himself rises from the ground. The young couple cowers frozen in fear on the ground. The devil proclaimed that they were fornicating on sacred ground and their souls are now forfeit. They beg for their lives. The devil was in a good mood so he says he will let them go on one condition. The couple says they’ll do anything. The devil says he will give them an impossible challenge. He says if the man can ejaculate any 8 letter word onto a rock and his girlfriend can guess it correctly with absolutely no communication, they can go free.

The man tells the devil his intended word. He then begins trying to jack off, but the devil emerging from the ground and threatening to take your soul is a bit of a turn off. He’s so scared that he struggles to even get hard. However, their lives depend on it. So after a couple minutes, he jizzes a measly little puddle, completely unreadable. The devil laughs and says your souls are now mine. The girlfriend tells him to wait and to let her guess anyways. He concedes but continues on chuckling. The girlfriend guesses correctly, leaving the devil completely flabbergasted. He incredulously asks her how she guessed right. She responds, “A boy scout always comes prepared.”

This is OC as far as I’m concerned. I came up with this myself today and I don’t think anyone else is insane enough to come up with it too.

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A man is shopping at an adult video store when the cashier tells him, "If you're looking for something extra, check out the room in the back..."

Curious, the man heads to the back of the store and finds a long hallway lined with gloryholes. As soon as he walks in, he hears seductive coos and beckoning comments from behind each wall. Peering into some of the holes, he is surprised to see gorgeous women from all around the world waiting on the other sides and immediately decides to give it a try.

While slipping his junk into the first hole, he notices there's a small American flag on the wall. From behind the wall, he hears "Rub-a-dub-dub! Thanks for the grub!" and promptly receives incredible oral that leaves him breathless.

Thinking it would be a waste to leave now, he walks up to a second hole with a Japanese flag above it and inserts his johnson. From behind the wall, he hears "Itadakimasu!" and receives mind-blowing service that almost makes his knees buckle.

Excited to try another, he eagerly walks up to a third hole with a French flag above it and places his member into the hole. From behind the wall, he hears "Bon appétit!", but quickly takes his junk back out. Confused, the French woman behind the wall peers through the hole and sees the man putting his pants back on with a sad expression and shuffling back to the exit, muttering "...it's not THAT petite..."

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A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."

The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.

The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.

The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.

The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."

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A bear walks in to a bar and says, “I’ll have a gin and..........tonic.” The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?” The bear looks down for a second and says, “I don’t know,

I guess I was just born this way.”

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Trump walks out of the white house and towards his limo...

... when an assassin jumps out and points his gun at Trump.

A secret service agent who is on his first day of the job shouts "Mickey Mouse!"

The would-be assassin is startled and another agent tackles him, foiling the attempt.

Later, the secret service supervisor asks the new guy "What in the hell made you shout Mickey Mouse?"

The agent reluctantly replies "I got nervous. I meant to shout Donald, duck!"

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All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together.

At first it's boring, then it's riveting.

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Trump ends up in hell...

Trump dies from the virus. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Trump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in, swimming to the bottom and then resurfacing, over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell. "No!" said Trump. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Trump.

The Devil opened a third door. In it, Trump saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor, with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky... doing what she does best.

Trump looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this!”

The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"

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