This administration is afraid of transparency.
Thứ Tư, 7 tháng 10, 2020
A miner moves out west to California...
A miner moves out west to California. Having spent a few years in Colorado, he has a pretty good idea of the sort of lifestyle miner's live; up from dusk 'til dawn in the mines, and then up from dusk 'til dawn drinking and playing card games.
So, to his surprise, when he moves to Bluster's Bluff, the town is dead silent. No sounds of metal against rock, no barroom songs, no children playing in the streets - nothing. So, curiously, he peeks into the local saloon.
Sure enough, the saloon is packed to the gills with tough looking miners just like himself. However, all of them are sitting quietly, looking at the floor, not saying a word.
The miner sits down next to a townsfolk and says, "Pardon me sir, but is there any work around here for a miner to do?"
The townsperson looks at him like he's crazy. "Well sure, pal," he says, "but you can't be goin' into the mines today!"
"Why not?"
"Because Farmer John just harvested his wheat! We have to wait for him to grind it into flour!" he responds as if it's obvious.
Not wanting to look like too much of an outsider, the miner simply nods his head, grabs something to drink, and decides to go home early.
The following day, he returns to the saloon. Again, it's packed, and again, everyone is sitting in silence.
Cautiously, he approaches the person he talked to the other day and asks, "What about today? Is today alright for mining?"
He shakes his head. "No, son. The Wells Fargo wagon doesn't come into town until tomorrow, and we need a bag of sugar."
Again, the miner pretends he understands before going home to read a book.
He begins to get restless. On the third day, he returns to the saloon, and to his surprise finds it empty except for the barkeep. His hopes begin to rise and he starts to head towards the mines - that is, of course, until he spots all the miners at Farmer John's farm.
He approached the crowd and sees them all crowded around the chicken coop. He grabs one of them by the shoulders and says, "Can we please get to mining today? I'm sick and tired of sitting around!"
"Yeah, yeah, we will! We just have to wait until ol' Betty-Lou here lays an egg!"
The miner throws up his hands and storms home.
However, on the fourth day, he wakes up to cheering and gunfire and song. He runs outside and sees the miners dancing in the streets, causing a ruckus, and getting their pickaxes and shovels ready.
"What the hell's going on?" demands the miner.
"Ol' Betty-Lou laid her some eggs, and now Missus John is baking up a storm! We can finally mine again!"
"What on God's green earth are you talking about?" he yells. "This whole time we've been waiting for some lady to get to work in her kitchen? Why the hell does that matter?"
"Didn't you know, son?" he replies, excitedly. "Cake Day's the best day to get gold!"
A scoutmaster and his girlfriend go hiking in the woods...
They take a break in a rocky clearing with odd writing. After a while, they get frisky, and decide to play a little game called hide the sausage. They look around for people even though they’re in the middle of nowhere. It seems all clear and they go for it. Little did they know, they were in the middle of an Indian burial ground.
As things were getting hot and heavy, the ground begins to rumble, and, soon enough, the devil himself rises from the ground. The young couple cowers frozen in fear on the ground. The devil proclaimed that they were fornicating on sacred ground and their souls are now forfeit. They beg for their lives. The devil was in a good mood so he says he will let them go on one condition. The couple says they’ll do anything. The devil says he will give them an impossible challenge. He says if the man can ejaculate any 8 letter word onto a rock and his girlfriend can guess it correctly with absolutely no communication, they can go free.
The man tells the devil his intended word. He then begins trying to jack off, but the devil emerging from the ground and threatening to take your soul is a bit of a turn off. He’s so scared that he struggles to even get hard. However, their lives depend on it. So after a couple minutes, he jizzes a measly little puddle, completely unreadable. The devil laughs and says your souls are now mine. The girlfriend tells him to wait and to let her guess anyways. He concedes but continues on chuckling. The girlfriend guesses correctly, leaving the devil completely flabbergasted. He incredulously asks her how she guessed right. She responds, “A boy scout always comes prepared.”
This is OC as far as I’m concerned. I came up with this myself today and I don’t think anyone else is insane enough to come up with it too.
A man is shopping at an adult video store when the cashier tells him, "If you're looking for something extra, check out the room in the back..."
Curious, the man heads to the back of the store and finds a long hallway lined with gloryholes. As soon as he walks in, he hears seductive coos and beckoning comments from behind each wall. Peering into some of the holes, he is surprised to see gorgeous women from all around the world waiting on the other sides and immediately decides to give it a try.
While slipping his junk into the first hole, he notices there's a small American flag on the wall. From behind the wall, he hears "Rub-a-dub-dub! Thanks for the grub!" and promptly receives incredible oral that leaves him breathless.
Thinking it would be a waste to leave now, he walks up to a second hole with a Japanese flag above it and inserts his johnson. From behind the wall, he hears "Itadakimasu!" and receives mind-blowing service that almost makes his knees buckle.
Excited to try another, he eagerly walks up to a third hole with a French flag above it and places his member into the hole. From behind the wall, he hears "Bon appétit!", but quickly takes his junk back out. Confused, the French woman behind the wall peers through the hole and sees the man putting his pants back on with a sad expression and shuffling back to the exit, muttering "...it's not THAT petite..."
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)