George Clooney says, "I'll direct."
DiCaprio yells, "I'll produce!"
And Matthew McConaughey says, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."
Thứ Sáu, 9 tháng 10, 2020
A young man was about to propose marriage to his girlfriend...
Naturally, he was really nervous and couldn’t think of how to pop the question. One day they were sitting on the couch and suddenly he just blurted out, “I think we should get married!”
“Wait,” his girlfriend said, taken aback, “are you serious?”
“I think I am,” he said.
“You’re proposing to me here on the couch?” she asked.
“Yes, I guess I am,” he said.
“That’s not much of a proposal,” the girlfriend said. “I think you can do better.”
“I thought so, too,” the young man said. “But your sister already said no.”
Thứ Năm, 8 tháng 10, 2020
Russia is invading Finland
During the invasion a Russian general and his troops come to a hill.
They hear a voice shouting: "One Fin can beat ten Russians!"
The general laughs about it and sends ten of his troops to go kill whoever is on the other side of the hill. There is alot of noise and shooting and after a while silence comes and none of the Russians return.
The voice speaks once again saying: "One Fin can beat 100 Russians!"
The general is a little upset by now and sends 150 of his troops to go for sure. Once again there is alot of noise and shooting and once again none of the Russians return.
The Voice speaks again: "One fin can beat 1000 Russians!"
The general is fuming and sends 1000 of his best men. The noise and shooting lasts way longer this time and as silence almost settled again one Russian comes crawling back over the hill bleeding from a wound.
He says: "I beg you, don't send any more troops, it's a trap! There are two of them!"
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered.
“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”
Smartest president
An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes.
The 1st passenger said, 'I am LeBron James, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die.' So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.
The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump, said, 'I am the US President, and I am the smartest President in American history, so my people don't want me to die.' He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.
The 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10-year-old schoolboy, 'My son, I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.'
The little boy said, 'That's okay, Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America 's smartest President took my schoolbag...
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