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Chủ Nhật, 11 tháng 10, 2020

A couple who work in the circus go to an adoption agency.

Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. The couple produce photos of their 50 ft motorhome, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery. The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get. "We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills." Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment. "Our nanny is an expert in paediatric welfare and diet." The social workers are finally satisfied. They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?" "It doesn't really matter, as long as he fits in the cannon"

Thứ Bảy, 10 tháng 10, 2020

A farmer separated the bulls and cows to prepare them for the mating season a few days later

He built a wall with barbed wires on top.*

A young bull could not resist his temptations and wanted to mate a cow.

Other bulls told him there was one veteran consultant bull amongst them that could help.

The bull went to him and asked how to cross the wall to the cows.

The consultant explained: "First of all.. stand 60 feet away from the wall. Then run at 60mph. Then jump at a 60° angle. Do what you want then come back the same way."

The bull asked: "But what if I mess up with the calculations and lose my BALLs in the barbed wires?"

The consultant said:" Then you become a consultant."

Did you hear about the cannibalistic lion?

He swallowed his pride.

Don't give me excuses, I wrote the book on excuses!

Well, I started to, I mean, Its hard, and I got a lot to do...

Jesus can walk on water, babies are 72% water, I can walk on babies therefore I am 72% Jesus

I’m also 100% in jail

A man walks in to a bar

And sees an ugly old humpback of a guy, who is constantly surrounded by women.

“How to spot a millionaire, am I right? ” he winks and smiles at the bartender

“No, Larry is a plumber, not a millionaire”

“Okay - so he must be extremely charming?”

“Larry is actually a man of very few words”

“Then what on earth makes him so incredibly popular with women??”

“I actually have no idea - every day he comes here, he just sits there quietly, drinking his beer, licking his eyebrows..”

Cowboys don’t roll joints

They tumble weed