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Thứ Sáu, 16 tháng 10, 2020

Every zodiac sign has its own special hairstyle

Except for cancer

In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.

However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.

A dying wish

A man spoke to each of his three sons when he sent them to college. "I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a gesture of appreciation, please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I die". And so it happened. His sons became a doctor, a financial planner, and a lawyer, each successful financially. When their father died and they saw him in the coffin, they remembered his wish. First, the doctor stacked 10 crisp $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased. Next, the financial planner placed $1,000 there in 20 crisp $50 bills. Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer's turn. He slowly reached into his pocket, removed his chequebook, wrote a check for $3,000, put it into his father's coffin, and took the $2,000 cash.

For my next trick I will disappear

Fuck you pear, you taste like shit

Why did Princess Leia date so many guys before she found Han?

She was looking for love in Alderaan places.

Why couldn't Jesus complete the crossword?

Because he got stuck on 2 across

My buddy got fired today for telling a female customer “Whatever shampoo that is keep it up! Sure smells good!”

Im gonna miss that midget..