Edit: Bad punctuation Im giving up, Drinking for a month.
Thứ Ba, 27 tháng 10, 2020
NSFW. A man went to the ice cream shop and ordered a chocolate cone...
“I’m sorry, Sir, we’re out of chocolate.”
“Oh, that’s too bad. I’ll have a chocolate cone with sprinkles then.”
“I’m sorry, Sir, but like I told you, we’re out of chocolate.”
“How about a chocolate/vanilla twist, then?”
“Let me ask you something. How do you spell the ‘van’ in ‘vanilla’?
“V-a-n.”
“OK! We’re on the same page! And how do you spell the ‘straw’ in ‘strawberry’?
“S-t-r-a-w.”
“Right, and lastly, how do you spell the ‘fuck’ in ‘chocolate’?
“There is no ‘fuck’ in ‘chocolate’.”
“THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!”
My new party trick...
I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together.
I shit you knot.
I had sex with my kid's teacher. I have to tell my wife...
...how much I appreciate her taking a break from homeschooling the kids for quick romp with me. The pandemic isn't all bad!
Thứ Hai, 26 tháng 10, 2020
Small, skinny man is sitting in a pub...
There is a beer in front of him. A macho, muscular man enters the pub, taps him on the shoulder and drinks his beer! The skinny man starts crying. The big man:
- Oh, stop crying, baby. That's just one beer...
The small man:
- Okay, listen! Today my wife left me, my bank account is empty, my house is empty! I even got fired from my job. I didn't want to live anymore, so i tried to kill myself. I lay down on the rails - they changed the train route! i tried to hang myself - the rope broke! I tried to shoot myself - the gun broke! And now, i'm buying a beer with my last money, i'm pouring poison inside and you're drinking it!
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