An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1) The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2) The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'. 3) I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black...

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My friend and I make frequent conjugal visits to a local female prison, to remind the inmates what it's like to have a selfless guy go down on them.

It just gives us some scents of perp puss....

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A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.” The older doctor says, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick?” As they left, the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine that woman? How’d you come to the diagnosis so quickly?” “I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in...

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The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.

Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own....

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People who don't understand the difference between...

People who don't understand the difference between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can't put into words....

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A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door. “Stay where you are,” she whispered. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.”

The husband lurched into bed, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?” “You’re so drunk you miscounted,” said the wife. "Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there." The husband climbed out of bed and counted again: "One, two, three, four. Oh, you’re right."...

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What's a suicide bombers worst fear?

Dying alone......

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