The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president. A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and says, 'So, Daddy, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?' 'I don't think so. It's a 16 hour drive, your mother isn't as young as she used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again.' 'Don't worry about it Daddy, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. A limousine will pick you up at your door.' 'I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would...

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Why did the graveyard get a COVID test?

Because of all the coffin....

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Long ago, a king issued a challenge to see who can first cross a crocodile-infested river.

On the day of the challenge, the participants were shocked to see how dangerous the river actually was. Crocodile backs were visible nearly every part of the river and the width of the river seemed to stretch miles away to the other bank. The king, eager to see some violent gory entertainment while knowing that no one will ever beat the challenge, said the winner can get a million pounds of gold. When no one looked motivated, the king confidently said he would surrender his throne to the winner. When the king declared the start of the challenge,...

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A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 18 y/o daughter.

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the cake. "Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said. So the father visited a ton of different bakeries and did research, but found the prices to be too high. My daughter is inviting all of her friends, and I'll look bad if I don't put together a good cake, he thought. Then, he stumbled upon a shop that opened once a year to provide free cake to its customers. How quaint,...

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How do ghouls sign off a letter?

Best witches and worm regards...

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I always get Halloween and Valentine's Day confused.

They're both about candy and being something you're not....

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OMG there's a wolf!

Where? No, the regular kind....

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