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Chủ Nhật, 1 tháng 11, 2020

Two boys were misbehaving... ...so their mother went to the local priest to look for advice. The priest thought it would be best if the boys learned integrity, by way of understanding that "God is everywhere, and He sees everything you do so you shouldn't misbehave."

The mother and the priest thought it best that the priest talked to the boys, so the mother agreed to take the boys in one at a time to talk to the priest.

She brought the first boy (Ray) to the church and left the second boy (Jim) at home. She took Ray into the priest's office and stayed outside while the priest and Ray talked.

"Where is God?" The priest calmly asked expecting to make the point that "God is everywhere". Ray, petrified, said nothing. So the priest asked again slightly louder, "Where is God?!". Ray still said nothing. So the priest stood up and slammed his hands on the desk yelling, "WHERE IS GOD?!?!". Ray stood up and ran out of the office, past his mother, and ran all the way home.

He came screaming in the front door and ran straight to Jim's room. He opened the door and said, "GOD IS MISSING AND THEY THINK WE TOOK HIM!".

According to my sewing instructor, I'm easily the worse student She's ever had..

Oops... sorry, wrong thread.

I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself...

my wife rushes through the room and shouts, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES, FRANK"

A tale of two friends !!

One was a very bright student while the other one was quite dumb. The brighter one always helped the other passing exams be it a class test or end term exams. The teachers were quite furious with them and at last, called upon a meeting to discuss with the principal what could be done. All came to the conclusion that both of them will be interviewed separately and have to pass it in order to move onto a higher standard. First, the brighter student was interviewed. The panel asked him "When did India get its freedom ?". He answered, " the struggle started way back in 1943 and finally it happened in 1947". The panel was impressed and asked him one more question - "Can you name at least one freedom fighter who died fighting for the struggle for freedom ?". He answered, "Sorry sir, but I should not name only a single one because it will be disrespectful for the others who all fought for the cause. ". The panelists were awestruck. They asked the student to send in the dumb one after him. But, being his best friend, he told his dumb friend everything that was asked in the interview and also told him exactly what to answer. The student went in and the panelist started asking him questions. First, they asked him "When were you born ?". He replied in a very confident voice "Sir, the struggle started way back in 1943 but finally it happened in 1947". The panelists were shocked and couldn't hold their laughter. Next, they asked, "What is your father's name ?". Being confident he answered in a very fluent way "Sorry sir, but I should not name only a single one because it will be disrespectful for the others who all fought for the cause".

I taught a wolf to meditate

Now he’s aware wolf

I ran 3 miles yesterday

Eventually I just said “here keep your purse”

What do you call a group of rebellious ants?

Protestants