Personally I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros. There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
Thứ Tư, 4 tháng 11, 2020
Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to California. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other.
At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why Hooters?"
"They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the
gorgeous legs."
"You're on."
At age 42, they meet and play golf again "Where you wanna go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Again? Why?"
"They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games."
"OK."
At age 52 they meet and play again. "So where you wanna go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking."
"OK."
At age 62 they meet again. After a round of golf, one says, "Where
you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy."
"Good choice"
At age 72 they meet again. Once again, after a round of golf, one
says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they
have senior discounts."
"Great choice."
At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Because we've never been there before."
“Okay, let’s give it a try."
Kim Jong Un was sitting in his office wondering whom to irritate next when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Kim!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Kim replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Kim paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
“Jesus" said Paddy. "I'll have to call you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Kim, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Kim asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
Kim sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."
"Holy shite!" said Paddy. "I'll get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Kim, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Kim was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and,10,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Ah bollix!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. " G’ mornin' Mr. Kim! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Kim "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a lot of pints, and decided there's no feckin way we can feed two million prisoners."
Thứ Ba, 3 tháng 11, 2020
I don't get what's so hard about No Nut November
It's the 3rd day and I haven't eaten any nuts yet. I just distract myself by constantly masturbating all day.
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