...but ISIS
Thứ Ba, 3 tháng 11, 2020
A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.
“Thank you honey,” she says, “Is there anything I can bring back for you?” He laughs, and says, “An Italian girl!” When the conference is over, he meets her up at the airport and asks, “How was the trip?” “Very good,” she replies. “And what happened to my present?” “Which present?” she asks. “The one I asked for - an Italian girl!” “Oh, that. I did what I could. We’ll just have to wait 9 months to see if it’s a girl.”
A couple go to the hospital because the wife is extremely pregnant.
A couple go to the hospital because the wife is heavily pregnant. The consultant tells them , “ We have this revolutionary new treatment, we give this special injection to the mother and all the birth pain transfers from the woman to the man. Would you like to try it?”
They discuss it and the husband being a gentleman says “ Of course I would be only too happy to to take the pain for my wife. “
The day of birth comes and the wife is in the labour ward. The doctor says “ Labour pain is very bad, I’ll give half and see how you are”
The wife goes into labour and right enough she has no pain. The doctor asks the man how is. “Absolutely fine, give her the rest.” So they do and the wife had her baby with no problems and the man is fine also.
Next day they drive home with the new baby. As they are driving the man says, “ so all that talk about women in pure agony when they’re giving birth is just made up nonsense. I didn’t feel a thing.”
they turn into the driveway and find the milkman dead on their doorstep.
If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States
If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States
This is not a political post, I just want to travel
Little Billy came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home, Billy mentioned: Dad, our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs like that?
His father, thinking quickly, said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad, that's great," said little Billy.
A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad! Dad, we almost lost Mom today!" "What do you mean?" asked his father. "Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom, flat on her back with her legs in the air, screaming, 'Jesus, I'm coming! I'm coming!'
If it hadn't been for Uncle George holding her down, we'd have lost her for sure!"
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