A Catholic Priest, a Buddhist Monk, and an atheist walk into a bar.

After they put in their orders, the three strike up a conversation about what they believe awaits them in the afterlife. The priest says, "I try to live my life according to God's word, so that I may go to the good Lord in heaven and live in paradise for all of eternity. I do not curse, I forgive freely, and I pray continually However, I know I am a sinner at heart, and I deserve to burn in hell like the rest of us." The atheist replies, "Don't worry, that's probably bullshit. There is nothing waiting for us after death, only the void and nothingness....

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How do you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant?

One's an elephant....

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A limbo dancer walks into a bar

He immediately got disqualified....

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What should we do with people who rely on government handouts, but refuse to work?

Kick them out of Congress...

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How do you lure a pervert? (NSFW)

Just add the NSFW tag....

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Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning, anticipating that he'd be getting a new Nintendo Console this year. "Surprise!" shouted his parents. "We know you wanted video games, but we think you need to get outdoors more. We got you this set of fishing gear! Unfortunately, it was rather expensive, so we could only get you the lures and bait. We'll get you the poles for your birthday." Poor little Timmy was devastated, as he'd never even fished before in his life. He sadly opened the tackle box, but to his surprise, there was a Nintendo Switch...

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Donald Trump claims he won the election by a landslide

How else would you describe his campaign other than a ‘natural disaster’?...

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