A farmer walks upstairs to his bedroom with a chicken under his arm and stands before his wife.
“This is the pig I’ve been fucking”
His wife rolls over and sees the farmer.
“You idiot that’s a chicken”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP IM TALKIN TO THE CHICKEN”
Thứ Sáu, 13 tháng 11, 2020
My wife left me for another man.
All that lies ahead now is a miserable, pointless life, with suicide seemingly the only way out. And while he's going through all that, I'll be in the pub with my mates every night.
I want to speak to President Trump
One sunny day in late January 2021 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr Trump is no longer President and no longer resides here." The old man said, "Okay", and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine repeated, "Sir, as I told you yesterday, Mr Trump is no longer President and no longer resides here." The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.
The third day, the old man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying again, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine, understandably irritated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you've been here asking to speak to Trump. I've told you each time that he's no longer the President and no longer resides here. Don't you get it?" The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."
The Marine snapped to attention and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir!"
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