What do you call a depressed acapella group?

Self Harmony

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Your mom is so slow,

She took 9 months to make a joke.

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Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?

-I have to do that or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny.

-That's not going to work.

-Why not?

-Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up.

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Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888

So when someone ask tell them it's 12345678

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My wife asked me which of her friends I would like to have a threesome with.

Apparently I’m not supposed to pick two of them.

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it’s just taken me half an hour to get my girlfriends bra off

it’s the last time i’m trying it on

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Not saying my Ex was fat

But it took a year for my memory foam mattress to forget her.

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