Trying to sound cool, I told her I like my coffee like I like my women. And that's when she told me "that's cute honey, but the coffee is free. You don't have to pay for it here"
Thứ Tư, 18 tháng 11, 2020
A Roman Catholic priest is on his way to Rome when he runs into an old childhood friend.
“My goodness, Mary!” He says. “How have you been?”
“Oh, could be better,” she says. “My husband and I have been trying to have children for fifteen years, but we are barren.”
“I’m so sorry,” says the priest. “I’m on a pilgrimage to Rome, and I promise to light a candle for you in the great cathedral.”
Mary thanks him, and after chatting a little longer, they part ways.
Five years later, the priest is eating dinner when there’s a knock at his door. He opens it, and to his surprise, it’s Mary.
“I’m so glad I found you!” She exclaims. “Remember that candle you lit for me, years ago? Well, my husband and I now have two sets of twins and a set of triplets — and I just found out I’m pregnant with quadruplets!”
She then hands the priest an all-expenses paid ticket to Rome.
“Oh Mary!” Says the priest. “Your joy is my joy. You didn’t need to give me a thank-you gift.”
“Oh no, it’s not a thank you,” says Mary. “It’s so you can blow out that motherfucking candle.”
A Roman Catholic priest is on his way to Rome when he runs into an old childhood friend.
“My goodness, Mary!” He says. “How have you been?”
“Oh, could be better,” she says. “My husband and I have been trying to have children for fifteen years, but we are barren.”
“I’m so sorry,” says the priest. “I’m on a pilgrimage to Rome, and I promise to light a candle for you in the great cathedral.”
Mary thanks him, and after chatting a little longer, they part ways.
Five years later, the priest is eating dinner when there’s a knock at his door. He opens it, and to his surprise, it’s Mary.
“I’m so glad I found you!” She exclaims. “Remember that candle you lit for me, years ago? Well, my husband and I now have two sets of twins and a set of triplets — and I just found out I’m pregnant with quadruplets!”
She then hands the priest an all-expenses paid ticket to Rome.
“Oh Mary!” Says the priest. “Your joy is my joy. You didn’t need to give me a thank-you gift.”
“Oh no, it’s not a thank you,” says Mary. “It’s so you can blow out that motherfucking candle.”
A farmer buys a young cock
As soon as he gets home it fucks all of his 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all 150 hens.
Next day it's fucking the ducks and the geese too. Sadly, later in the day the farmer finds the cock lying on the ground half-dead and vultures circling over its head. Farmer yells , "You deserve it, you horny bastard!"
The cock slowly opens one eye, looks up at the sky and whispers , " Shhhhhh, They're about to land!!!"
two hardcore trump supporters die and ascend to heaven.
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions. One of them says, “yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?”.
God says, "my son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232”.
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, “This goes higher up than we thought”.
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