....except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.
Thứ Hai, 23 tháng 11, 2020
The pope got covid
So the pope got covid and he had a dry cough so he was rushed to the hospital and he says to the guy taking him in to get checked out, "am I in heaven?" And the guy turns round and simply says, "no your holiness, we're just taking a shortcut through the children's ward!"
Chủ Nhật, 22 tháng 11, 2020
A teacher goes for a long walk on the beach. She finds a shiny magic lamb, picks it up, and rubs it.
There is a puff of blue smoke and a genie pops out. “You have three wishes. I can give you anything in the world. If I fail, I must become your personal genie for eternity.”
The teacher thinks for a moment and says, “For my first wish, I want jewels. Silver, gold, platinum, whatever you have.” Poof! The jewels appear.
“For my second wish, I want karma. Lots of karma.” Poof! The karma appears.
The genie stares at the teacher, waiting for the third wish. “I can give you anything in the world,” he says again.
The teacher thinks for a long time. “As a teacher, I always hated careless mistakes from my students. I noticed that I accidentally wrote ‘lamb’ instead of ‘lamp.’ Please correct my mistake.”
The genie moaned in anguish. “This is Reddit,” he shouted. "Once you post it, you can’t edit the title."
A woman overhears her 8 year old son playing with his train set.
As he's moving his train around, he stops the train and says "This stop is Los Angeles. If this is your stop, get the fuck off. If this is not your stop, stay the fuck on."
The boy moves the train around for a minute, and stops the train once again.
"This stop is Seattle. If this is your stop, get the fuck off. If this is not your stop, stay the fuck on."
Horrified that her son used such foul language, she angrily sends him to his room for an hour.
After an hour passes, the woman allows her son to play with his train set on the condition he does not repeat what he said. He agrees.
Shortly after, the woman overhears her son playing with his train set once again.
After moving his train around the track for a minute, he stops the train and says "This is New York City. If this is your stop, get off. If this is not your stop, stay on. And if you're wondering why the train's an hour late, just ask the cunt in the kitchen."
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