An engineer dies and is sent to hell

He’s hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he un-jams it. People can get from plce to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high def channels.

One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what’s up?

The Devil says, ‟Things are great down here since you sent us an engineer.”

‟What?” says God.. ‟An engineer? I did not send you one of those. That must have been a mistake. Send him upstairs immediately.”

The Devil responds, ‟No way. We want to keep our engineer. We like him.”

God demands, ‟If you don't send him to me immediately, I will sue!”

The Devil laughs. ‟Where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”

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North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media.

When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

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Strippers don’t have air conditioning in their homes.

............Onlyfans

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Henry

Henry died in a fire and his body was burned pretty bad.

The Morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Pat and Mike. The three men had always done everything together.

Pat arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Pat said, “Yep, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.”

The mortician rolled him over and Pat said, “Nope, ain’t Henry”.

The mortician thought this was rather strange. So he brought Mike in to confirm the identity of the body.

Mike looked at the body and said. “Yup he’s pretty well burnt up. Roll him over”.

The mortician rolled him over and Mike said, No, it ain’t Henry”.

The mortician asked, “How can you tell?”

Mike said, “Well, Henry had two assholes”.

“What? He had two assholes?” asked the mortician.

“Yup, we never seen ‘em, but everybody used to say: There’s Henry with them two assholes”.

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An English man meets a Chinese woman in his travels...

They fall in love and live a happy life in England. The woman, however cannot speak in English and has to have her husband translate for her. One day, the man was rather busy and asked his wife to make duck breast. She goes to the butcher but then realizes she doesn’t know how to tell him what she wants. As she’s about to leave in embarrassment, she comes upon an idea. She points at her breasts, and the butcher understands, giving her the duck breast. On the next day, seeing how the previous day turned out, the man asked the woman to go to the butcher to get chicken legs. When she gets there, after a bit of thinking, raises her skirt and points at her thighs. The butcher gets the message and gives her the chicken legs. On the next day, the man asked the woman to go to the butcher to get sausages. Unable to think of anything, she decides to bring her husband to the butcher with her.

Upon arriving, the husband says ‟I’d like some sausages please”.

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We should've known about the failure of communism

In retrospect, there were a lot of red flags....

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r/jokes has a discord and you need to join!

Over 17k members! Come see reposts in real time!

https://discord.gg/jokes

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