He actually grew up in Ukraine in the 1980's and was able to count at least 11 historical inaccuracies on one hand.
Thứ Năm, 26 tháng 11, 2020
An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by
Then he spoke:“Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses.“Mary, you take the offices in the Center Center.“Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are yours.“To my dear wife, take all the residential buildings near downtown.” The nurse was really impressed. She said, “Your husband must have been quite a man, amassing so much property to leave to all of you.” And the wife responded, “What property? … the schmuck had a paper route!!”
I went to the doctor today and said
“Doctor, my ass hurts!” He said “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?” I said “Right around the entrance!” He replied “My advice is that as long as you call that the entrance, it’s gonna hurt.”
A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl...
…that means no sex before marriage. But he does not care, he loves her. After a year of dating he decides its time to propose to her. So he heads to her father's house to ask for his blessing.
‟Hello, sir, I am here to ask for your daughter's hand”
A bit skeptical and looking to see if he really does love her, the father asks ‟And why is that?”
The guy lets out a long drawn out sigh… ‟Well, its just that mine have gotten tired.”
A man walks into a bar and orders 12 of the most expensive whiskey shots
The bartender lines 12 up shot glasses and fills them up.
The man quickly downs all 12 of them back to back and taps the bar, “again.”
The bartender looks a little confused, but lines of 12 more shots.
The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, “again.”
The bartender, visibly concerned, fills up 12 more shots and lines them on the bar.
The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, “again.”
The bartender says “hold up man! You gotta slow down!”
The man says “trust me, if you had what I had, you’d be drinking this fast too.”
“Oh my god,” says the bartender, quietly leaning over the bar he asks, “what do you have?”
“A dollar”
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