11.45 : arrived at crime scene
11.45 : Examined body. Signs of struggle
11.45 : Found murder weapon in drain
11.45 : Realised watch was broken
Thứ Sáu, 27 tháng 11, 2020
Not your average blonde joke
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.
The deaf Italian Bookkeeper
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper of 20 years, Guido, has cheated him out of $10 million.Guido is deaf which is why he got the job in the first place.
The Godfather assumed that since Guido could not hear anything, he could never testify in court.When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million,
he takes along his personal lawyer because he knows sign language.The Godfather tells the lawyer, ‟Ask him where the money is!”
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, ‟Where‘s the money?”
Guido signs back, ‟I do not know what you are talking about.” The lawyer tells the Godfather, ‟He says he doesn‘t know what you are talking about.”
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido‘s head and says, ‟Ask him again or I‘ll kill him!”
The lawyer signs to Guido, ‟He will kill you if you do not tell him.”
Guido trembles and signs back, ‟OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno‘s house.”
The Godfather asks the lawyer, ‟What did he say?”
The lawyer replies, ‟He says you don‘t have the balls to pull the trigger.”
Reposts...
r/Jokes has a search feature, input the title or punchline of your joke (before posting) and if it's been posted within the last month - please don't submit it.
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)