They become VERY ANGRY
Chủ Nhật, 29 tháng 11, 2020
Jim and Mary were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news as well as bad news. The good news is, you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient; I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. He's dead. I'm so sorry."
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”
"We're taking United” was the reply. "We got a great rate!”
“United?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?”
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Taste.”
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump.”
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. ”You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it.”
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of United’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and we had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on us hand and foot..
And the Taste hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!”
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope.”
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet us.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me..”
"Oh, really! What'd he say?”
He said: "Who fucked up your hair?
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
‟Hurry!” she said. ‟Stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. ‟Do not move until I tell you to,” she whispered. ‟Just pretend you are a statue.”
‟What‘s this, honey?” the husband inquired as he entered the room.
‟Oh, it‘s just a statue,” she replied nonchalantly. ‟The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us, too.”
No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.
Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
‟Here,” he said to the ‘statue‘. ‟Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths‘ for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water.”
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