Olympic Condoms. (NSFW)

A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said ‟Olympic Condoms”.He bought it, and told his wife about it. ‟ - Olympic Condoms? What's so special about them?” ‟ - They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze.” ‟ - And what color are you going to wear tonight?” ‟ - Gold, obviously!” ‟ - Why not Silver? It would be great if you came second, fr a change.”...

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Roses are red,

Violets are blue, I have a sideways toaster next to my name, Reddit you know what to do...

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Why is E the nicest letter?

Because all the others are naughty....

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I was watching porn with the missus and she complained, "This is so unrealistic."

I said, ‟Just because you are unwilling to try new things, does not mean everyone's that frigid.” ‟Not that,” she explained, ‟It's just the plumbers that come to our house have tiny dicks.”...

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This is how bad the economy is:

My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can not afford batteries. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced. If the bank returns your check marked ‟Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them. McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned...

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I tried to remarry my ex-wife

but She figured out I was only after my money....

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As a german I have to ask: You know what really grinds my gears?

Ntohing. Our engineering is perfect....

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