How bout a blowjob?

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says，‟You know，I don't know what else to do.Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking，I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway.I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.I take my shoes off before I go into the house，I sneak up the stirs，I get undressed in the bathroom.I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!” His buddy looks at him and says，‟Well，you are obviously taking the wrong approach.I screech...

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I tried to find a porn director willing to hire me as a performer, but I couldn't...

Apparently I didn't look hard enough. (As you can probably tell by how stupid it is, I wrote this one myself.)...

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Dave was getting robbed in the desert

he gave the robber his money and asked the robber shoot a few bullets in his hat to make it believable to his wife that he was robbed. he then asked," shoot a few bullets in the coat while you're at it, I want to look like I fought you and not look like a coward" after the robber shot the coat, he said, "shoot a few holes-" "please, no more holes, I'm out of bullets" "that's what I wanted to hear. now give me back the wallet and some more money for the hat and coat you destroyed before I beat you black and blue"...

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It's funny how Jews, Christians and Muslims have fought each other for centuries.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef....

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A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After hnoeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage... After a few drinks, billionaire’s friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie.. ‟It is simple” billionaire boasts.... ‟I faked my age” ‟Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you’re?” A friend asks. With a smile on his lips billionaire responds ‟85 years old”...

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"The car won't start," said a wife to her husband.

‟I think there’s water in the carburetor.” ‟How do you know?” said the husband scornfully. ‟You do not even know what the carburetor si.” ‟I am tlling you,” repeated the wife, ‟I ’m sure there’s water in the carburetor.” ‟We’ll see,” mocked the husband. ‟Let me check it out. Where’s the car?” ‟In the swimming pool.”...

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Olympic Condoms. (NSFW)

A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said ‟Olympic Condoms”.He bought it, and told his wife about it. ‟ - Olympic Condoms? What's so special about them?” ‟ - They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze.” ‟ - And what color are you going to wear tonight?” ‟ - Gold, obviously!” ‟ - Why not Silver? It would be great if you came second, fr a change.”...

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