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Thứ Ba, 1 tháng 12, 2020

There's a boy named Bonnie...

There’s a boy named Bonnie.

He is made fun of throughout high school because of his weird name, and so he is become very shy.

But he has a crush on a girl and works up the courage to ask her out.

She says yes, and he is so happy.

After years of dating, he works up the courage to ask her to marry him.

She says yes, and he is so happy.

When their first child is born, a girl, he lets the wife name her, because he still feels so lucky and fortunate just to be with her.

The wife names the baby ‟Love”.

Love grows up and now she starts to be made fun of because of her weird name.

She comes home from school one day screaming at her dad, asking why he gave her such a stupid name.

He takes blame, wanting to protect his wife, and apologizes.

Love says he ruined her life.

She shoots hm and runs away.

Finally the wife comes home, sees Bonnie lying on the ground, screams and runs to him.

‟Bonnie! What happened?!”

He becons her to come closer, and he whispers in her ear: ‟Shot through the heart. And you’re to blame. Darling yu gave Love a bad name.”

There's a boy named Bonnie...

There’s a boy named Bonnie.

He is made fun of throughout high school because of his weird name, and so he is become very shy.

But he has a crush on a girl and works up the courage to ask her out.

She says yes, and he is so happy.

After years of dating, he works up the courage to ask her to marry him.

She says yes, and he is so happy.

When their first child is born, a girl, he lets the wife name her, because he still feels so lucky and fortunate just to be with her.

The wife names the baby ‟Love”.

Love grows up and now she starts to be made fun of because of her weird name.

She comes home from school one day screaming at her dad, asking why he gave her such a stupid name.

He takes blame, wanting to protect his wife, and apologizes.

Love says he ruined her life.

She shoots hm and runs away.

Finally the wife comes home, sees Bonnie lying on the ground, screams and runs to him.

‟Bonnie! What happened?!”

He becons her to come closer, and he whispers in her ear: ‟Shot through the heart. And you’re to blame. Darling yu gave Love a bad name.”

What do you call a hot chick in Boston?

A tourist

I was so embarrassed that my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set that I threw the bedsheet over it.

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

For my cake day, a joke I made up as a kid: Why is Aquaman such a dedicated super hero?

Because he was born with a sense of porpoise.

TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway

Whops, wrong sub.

So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn’t find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

‟I’ve got to get this guy!” Coach said to himself. ‟He has the perfect arm!”

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

‟Mom,” he says into the phone, ‟I just won the Super Bowl!”

‟I do not want to talk to you”, the old Muslim woman says.‟You’re not my son!”

‟I do not think you understand, Mother,” the young man pleads. ‟I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”

‟No! Let me tell you!” his mother retorts. ‟At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!” The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, ‟I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!