Walking through Chinatown, a backpacker saw a Chinese laundry with the sign: "Sigurd Kristiansen's Laundry"

'Sigurd Kristiansen? How the hell does that name fit in here?' he wondered. So he decided to check it out. He entered to see an elderly Chinese man behind the counter. 'How did this Chinese laundry get a name like "Sigurd Kristiansen's Laundry"?' the backpacker asked. The elderly Chinese replied, 'My name, I am owner.' 'Really? How did you ever get a name like Sigurd Kristiansen?' 'Many years ago when arrived at this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big Norwegian. Lady asked him: "What's your name?" He said: "Sigurd Kristiansen" Then lady asked me: "What's your name?" I said: "Seim Ting".'

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The Blind Sales Clerk

A woman goes into Cabela’s to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark glasses. She says to him, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?” He says, “Ma’am, I’m completely blind; but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.”

She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, “That’s a 6-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-pound test line. It’s a good all-around combination, and it’s on sale this week for only $20.”

She says, “It’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I’ll take it!”

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. “Oh, that sounds like a MasterCard,” he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around?

The man rings up the sale and says, “That’ll be $34.50 please.”

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, “Didn’t you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20? How did you get $34.50?”

He replies, “Yes, ma’am. The rod and reel is $20, but the Duck Call is $11, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.”

She paid it and left without saying a word.

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A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!"and hung up.

Curious, the husband said, "Who was that?" And his lovely wife replies, "I don't have any idea who it was. It was some stupid woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."

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A Hindu, a Rabbi, and a Jehovah's Witness are lost..

They wander across a farmstead and ask to spend the night.

"I only have room for two, so one of you will have to stay in the barn," says the Farm Owner.

The Hindu immediately volunteers, insisting it's no problem. However, a few minutes later, he knocks on the front door.

"I'm sorry, but there is a cow in the barn, and they are sacred to me."

"No problem," says the Rabbi, and he goes to the barn. Again though, he returns and knocks. "There is also a pig in there, and that is against our teachings."

"I will go then, friends," says the Jehovah's Witness, and he proceeds to the barn. A few moments later, there is a knock at the door. It's the cow and the pig.

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What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

Banned from of Seaworld

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Cake day so time to Karma Farm, and I can't see this joke posted

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A Hippie sits next to a young Nun on the bus and asks her if he could have sex with her

The Nun, very upset, say,s"NO! I am married to God" and gets off the bus disgusted

The bus driver sees all this. He tells the Hippie, "She prays every Tuesday night at midnight in the graveyard... why don't you tell her you are God and demand sex?"

The Hippie tries this and to his surprise, the nun says, "Yes but only if we have anal sex as I want to keep my virginity"

They have passionate but sex and when they are done the Hippie throws off his robe and cries. "Ha HA, I am the Hippie!!!"

The Nun cries out, "Ha HA, I am the Bus Driver!!!!!"

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There's a boy named Bonnie...

There’s a boy named Bonnie.

He is made fun of throughout high school because of his weird name, and so he is become very shy.

But he has a crush on a girl and works up the courage to ask her out.

She says yes, and he is so happy.

After years of dating, he works up the courage to ask her to marry him.

She says yes, and he is so happy.

When their first child is born, a girl, he lets the wife name her, because he still feels so lucky and fortunate just to be with her.

The wife names the baby ‟Love”.

Love grows up and now she starts to be made fun of because of her weird name.

She comes home from school one day screaming at her dad, asking why he gave her such a stupid name.

He takes blame, wanting to protect his wife, and apologizes.

Love says he ruined her life.

She shoots hm and runs away.

Finally the wife comes home, sees Bonnie lying on the ground, screams and runs to him.

‟Bonnie! What happened?!”

He becons her to come closer, and he whispers in her ear: ‟Shot through the heart. And you’re to blame. Darling yu gave Love a bad name.”

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