Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who’s there?
Him: Interrupting pirate.
Me: Interrupting pira...
Him: Arrrrrrgggh!!!
Thứ Tư, 2 tháng 12, 2020
Bath night
A couple take in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath but if she wanted to she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.......
"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said.
The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday....
After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next Monday, don?t go to darts. I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself.."
So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked:
"Do you shave?"
"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hairs down there. Do you have hair?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she showed the girl that indeed, she was far from hairless.
When the girl went to bed the husband came in, and the wife asked:
"Did you see it?"
"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours."
"Why not?" she said. "You've seen it before."
"I know," he said, "but the darts team hadn't!!
Dirty joke from my late grandfather 92 at the time.
Two students were asked to make a quick line about Timbuktu for their poetry class. Tim and Dill. Tim delivers his to the class. “Across the endless desert sands, people travel hand in hand, tired and worn, they walk through, destination Timbuktu.” The professor says “its’s a fine poem! Your turn Dill!” Dill says “me and Tim a hunting went, found three maidens in a tent, since they were three and we were two, I buck one and Tim buck two!”
Edit: name change
A man named Carol spent his entire life being bullied by people because of his name...
He finally got married, and when they had a child, he left the naming to his wife. She wanted to continue the legacy of having a weird name with their daughter, so she named her ‘love’. As Love grew up, she got bullied just like her dad. One day the bullying got so bad that she became furious with her parents for her name. She stormed home and confronted her dad. Carol didn’t want his wife to have to deal with the blame, so he told Love it was him who gave her the name. Love was so furious she shot him, and stormed out of the house. Eventually Carol’s wife came home, and she saw her husband laying on the floor and asked what happened. He told her to come closer... so she bent down and he said to her
“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. You gave Love, a bad name”
My brother told me this one this evening lol
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