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Chủ Nhật, 6 tháng 12, 2020

A poor family lives on a farm and they rely on their chickens for income.

One morning, the father walks outside to find the chicken coop empty and the corpses of chickens on the ground.

"There’s nothing that could help get us out of poverty now," says the dad as he shoots himself.

The mom walks outside and sees the dad and the chickens on the ground.

"I can't live without my husband," she says as she shoots herself with her husband's gun.

The daughter walks outside and sees her mother, father, and the dead chickens.

"I can't live any longer without my family," she says as she jumps into the river and kills herself.

The oldest son, 23 years old, walks outside looking for the family and sees them all dead.

"Is there anyway to bring them back," he yells at the sky.

Poof! A magical fairy appears out of thin air.

"I will bring your whole family back to life, even the chickens," she says, "if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not, I get to kill you."

The boy fucks her 2 times in a row and he dies.

The middle son, 19 years old, comes out and sees the fairy. She gives him the same offer as his brother.

"I will bring your whole family back to life, even the chickens," she says, "if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not, I get to kill you."

The son agrees to do it but can only do it 4 times. He dies.

The youngest son, 15 years old, comes out and is given the same offer.

"I will bring your whole family back to life, even the chickens," she says, "if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not I get to kill you."

The son says, "What if I fuck you 10 times in a row?"

The fairy thinks. She says, "I will bring back your family and grant you fortune.

The son says, "What if I fuck you 20 times in a row?"

She thinks again and says, "I will bring back your family, grant you fortune, and give you a mansion."

The son thinks and says, "What if I fuck you 30 times in a row?"

She thinks and says, "I will bring back your family and ensure that your family bloodline remains rich for the next generations to come."

The son says, "Wait, how do I know you’ll survive it?"

"What do you mean?" says the fairy.

"The chickens didn't."

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

Teacher: ”what is 4+2?”

Johnny: ”3!”

Teacher: ”Yes, you are right.”

Why didn't 4 ask out 5?

Because he was 2²

America won the war against COVID the same way they won the war against Vietnam

It got too expensive and they just declared it was over.

I switched all the labels on my wife spice rack. I’m not in trouble yet....

but the thyme is cumin.

Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What the hell was wrong with you?

Driver:I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realised they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant.

Judge: Hit the 2 men of course!

Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran inside the restaurant so l followed him.