He was decomposing.
Thứ Tư, 16 tháng 12, 2020
Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large boobs.
Arthur the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try.
One day Arthur revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Simon
the Erudite lawyer, the King's chief adviser. Simon thought about this and said that he could arrange for Arthur to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Arthur readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Simon got a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Nathan informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and Simon advised that only the saliva of Arthur would work as the antidote to cure the itch.
The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Sid to their chambers. Simon then slipped Arthur the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Arthur worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent boobs. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Arthur left satisfied and hailed as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Arthur found Simon demanding his payment of 1000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Arthur couldn't have cared less knowing that Simon could never report this matter to the King and with a laugh told him to get lost.
The next day, Simon slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Arthur.
There are two old ladies at a park. One is rich while the other one is poor. It was the Rich lady's birthday last week.
"my husband got me a diamond ring for my birthday" says the rich lady
"that's nice!" says the poor lady
"he also got me a Mercedes C class" says the rich lady
"that's nice!" says the poor lady
"so what did yours get you?" asks the rich lady
"a book about anger management" says the poor lady
"ha! And I can see it hasn't worked" says the rich lady
"oh, it did actually" says the poor lady "before I used to say "fuck off" and now I say "that's nice!"
An 18-year old boy and his girlfriend are going camping for the weekend and plan to lose their virginity to each other
Bursting with excitement, the boy walks into a drug store to buy some condoms. He notices they come in packs of 3, 6, and 12.
He's a bit confused, so he calls the clerk over, and asks “Excuse me sir, but why are the condoms packaged this way?”
The kindly old clerk replies, with a sly grin, "Well, son, it's all about efficiency and practicality. You see, this pack of 3 is for teenage boys, like yourself. You have one for Friday night, one for Saturday night, and one for Sunday night."
“Oh, I see” says the boy. He points to a 6 pack and asks, “Then, who are these for?”
“Those are for college men,” the clerk answers. “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday!”
“WOW!” exclaimed the boy, “Then, who uses THESE?” he asks, pointing to the 12-pack.
The clerk sighed and replied, “Well, those are for married men, like myself. One for January, one for February, one for March……. ”
Sex Position #189 "The John Wilkes Booth" (NSFW)
You blow a load on the back of someone's head in a movie theater and try to escape before you get caught.
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