A horse walks into a bar

And orders a beer. The bartender looks confused but pours him a cold one: That’ll be $25. The horse opens his wallet, pays and start drinking. The bartender is still in awe and says: You see, we don’t really have many horses coming in here. To which the horse replies: With prices like these, I’m not surprised. ...

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To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it's heart.

Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking....

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Thought I heard someone say “Hello” in Arabic

But it was a false Salaam...

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Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume knob stuck on full."

I thought, "I can't turn that down."...

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An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replies, "That would be my wife."...

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The local bar was so sure that its owner was the strongest man around...

that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him.The challenge was that the owner would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money.Over the years many people had tried this, truck drivers, weightlifters and all had failed. Then one day this frail little fella with heavy rimmed spectacles came into the bar and asked if he could try the challenge.After the laughter had subsided the owner said that...

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Apparently, there's a necrophiliac on the loose.

Look alive, people!...

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