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Thứ Hai, 21 tháng 12, 2020

In the beginning

God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."
Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"
God said, "Go down Into that valley."
Adam said, "What's a valley?"
God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river."
Adam said, "What's a river?"
God explained that To him, and then said, "Go over to the hill....."
Adam said, "What is a hill?"
God explained it to Adam, and said: "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave."
Adam said, 'What's a cave?'
After God explained, He Said, "In the cave you will find a woman."
Adam said, "What's a woman?'
God explained that to him, too. Then, God said, "I want you to reproduce."
Adam said, "How do I do that?"
God first said (under His breath), "Geez....." Just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.
So, Adam goes down Into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, Into the cave, and finds the woman.
Then, in about five minutes, he was back.

God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is It now?"

And Adam said.... “What’s a headache??”

A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender asks the rabbit “What can I get you to drink”.

The rabbit says “I have no idea, I’m only here because of autocorrect”.

A wealthy billionaire dies, and his final wish is to be buried with his money.

So, at the funeral reception, the widow is speaking with guests when the matter of the billionaire's last wish comes up. The widow confirms that she honored her late husband's request.

A friend says to the widow, "You really buried him with billions of dollars?!", and the widow replies, "Of course, I wrote him a check."

A single sperm contains 37.5mb of DNA information which means that a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 tb

That's a lot of information to swallow

If alcohol can damage your short term memory

Imagine what alcohol can do to it

A blonde and her boyfriend went to the movies

In the film, the main character is running through the storm so she says, "I bet you £20, that they don't get struck by lightning."
And her boyfriend agrees.

20 seconds later the main character is stuck by lightning and the blonde looks confused and gets £20 to give.

Her boyfriend said "I can't take this, I have seen the movie before."

She replies, "So have I but I didn't think lightning would strike twice in the same place!"

A dad joke my science teacher told me a long time ago:

Why are bacteria so bad at math?

Because they multiply by dividing.

RIP Miss Henn. Miss her lots.