American beer is like having sex on a canoe - fucking close to water
Marry Christmas from Switzerland
Thứ Sáu, 25 tháng 12, 2020
One Christmas morning, a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light and next to him is a little girl on her brand-new bike.
The cop says to the young girl, "Nice bike you got there sweetheart. Did Santa bring that to you?"
“Yes, he did,” she replied sweetly.
With a smile on his face, the cop says "Well, next year, tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike,” and he proceeds to hand the girl a $20 ticket.
Before the cop rides off she says "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Playing along the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did.”
“Well, next year, tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.”
Three rich guys bury a friend
First throws a thousand bucks into the coffin, saying "I want you to never need anything in the next life".
Second one, richer than the first, throws 5000 behind it.
All look to the third who is even richer than the other two. He writes a check over 100 grand, throws it in the coffin and remarks "Cash it if you need any".
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