Please, for the love of God don't up vote, I've seen the size of her strap on!
Thứ Sáu, 1 tháng 1, 2021
The Americans and The Japanese
The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced rowing hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.
The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.
The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized.
The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.
The next year, the Japanese won by two miles!
Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.
One day, aliens make contact to Earth with a message proclaiming they not only come in peace, but confirm they also worshipped Jesus, confirming once and for all that He and religion were real.
In preparation for their arrival, a huge celebration and welcoming ceremony is planned, and all the Christian sects of the world miraculously come together to receive them.
The first of the aliens' ships touches down, and one alien walks down to greet everyone. The Pope comes out first to shake one of their hands to greet them. The Pope says, "We are forever grateful to learn we are not alone in being Children of God, but that we may also join together as one in order to praise our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ."
And the alien replies, "Yep. The first time he stopped by we threw him a big party and we gave him a fruit basket before he left. What'd you guys do?"
Two men were hunting deep in the woods one late afternoon
As the sun set over the horizon, the two hunters realized they were lost. Finding themselves outside of signal range and miles from civilization, they mulled over their options for rescue.
"Oh," one man perked up, "I remember reading that if you fire three shots in the air, it's a sign of distress for anyone in the area."
With a nod from his friend, the young man fired three shots into the air. After waiting another twenty minutes and seeing no sign of help, they fired three more times. After waiting another half hour, the two shared a glance of desperation.
"I don't think this is working."
"Yeah," his friend responded, "and we're losing all our arrows in the trees."
I'm starting a new business tomorrow.
It will be a gym for two weeks in January, and then a beer and burger place for the rest of the year.
I'm calling it, "Resolutions."
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