FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
The doctor asked him a series of questions: “Do you know where you are?” “I’m at Rex Hospital.” “What city are you in?” “Raleigh.” “Do you know who I am?” “Dr. Hamilton.” My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, “I hope he doesn’t ask me any more questions.” “Why?” she asked. “Because all of those answers were on his badge.”
A King asked his servant to look for five biggest idiots in his state and produce them in his court within a month.
After a month's extensive search operations, the servant brought to the court only two people!
"But I asked for five", the king said angrily
"Give me a chance to present them one by one", the servant pleaded and went on to present his idiots:
"Sire, this man, while travelling in a bullock cart, was keeping his luggage on his head so as not to hurt the bullocks. He is the first idiot.
Pointing to the second man the servant continued, "And this man here is the second idiot. Some grass grew on the roof of his thatched house and he was trying to force his cow climb up a ladder to graze on them."
The servant continued, "sire, there were a lot of importants jobs for me to do in the state, but I ignored them and wasted a precious month in searching for idiots. According to me I am the third idiot."
The king paused here for a moment.
"Who are the fourth and fifth idiots?", the king thundered.
"Beg your pardon, sire", the servant continued, "You are the King and are responsible for the wellbeing of the entire state and its people. You need wise persons to help you oversee the state affairs. Instead of looking for wise people you engaged me to look for idiots. According to me you are the fourth idiot.
And, sire, the person who is glued to this reddit post, keeping aside all his high priority assignments, oblivious of pressing needs of his familiy, just to learn who is the fifth idiot, is the fifth idiot himself.
While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.
He asked the waiter, “What is that you just served?”
The waiter replied, “Si senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!”
The cowboy said, “What the heck, bring me an order.”
The waiter replied, “I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning.”
If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'
The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.
After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, “These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.”
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Si,Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."
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I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff.
French tanks have five reverse gears, and one that goes forward in case they’re attacked from behind.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. I just swam for the surface.
My mom’s had a moment of clarity. She called me a son of a bitch.
I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days straight and doesn’t die.
I didn’t use to finish my sentences, but now...
My therapist told me I’m too indecisive, but I’m not so sure.
I bought a terrible thesaurus yesterday, not only was it terrible, it was terrible!
Why do we call ourselves pirates? Because we arrr!
I intend to live forever. So far, so good!
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
Evening news is where they start with ‘Good evening’ and then tell you why it’s not.
I hate Russian dolls, they are so full of themselves.
There’s no ‘I’ in ‘denial’.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years, before we met.
I love my wife so much that if we were an a sinking boat, and there was only one life jacket, I would really miss her and think of her a lot.
The other day, my wife started a conversation by suddenly blurting out: “You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?”
My wife told me our neighbor kisses his wife goodbye on the steps every morning, and asked me why I don’t do the same, but I don’t know her that well.
Religious differences destroyed our marriage. I wasn’t allowed to love my neighbor.
I divorced my wife because she was too loud in bed. I could hear her from two houses down the street.
Yo mama so ugly, a blowjob from her counts as anal.
Yo mama so fat, last time she passed by the TV, I missed a season of ‘Friends’.