My wife of 15 years has just told me she has been faking her orgasms every time we've had sex.

I can't believe she lied to me, not once, but twice.

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A woman was 3 months Pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after 6 months.

The woman asked the doctor about her babies. The doctor said "You had twins, a boy and a girl they're both fine and your brother named them for you" The woman replies with "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NOT MY BROTHER, he's an idiot!, what did he name the girl!?

"Denise" the doctor answered

"Oh, that's actually not that bad! what about the boy?" the woman replied

doctor sighs deeply

"Denephew"

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How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Trumps says it’s done and they all cheer in the dark

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Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia

Man: Wait I can explain everything

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Hello everyone 32 (F) here

It's freezing in here!

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My 7 yr old just made this one up: What do you say when a dinosaur farts?

That was a blast from the past!

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My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list.

Now I can’t read any of it.

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