the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable
Thứ Năm, 14 tháng 1, 2021
A young man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The young man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the young man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Next the frog yells, "Okay okay, If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you FOREVER and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the young man took the frog out, then he chuckled at it and put it back in his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you forever, and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The young man said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
Thứ Tư, 13 tháng 1, 2021
A Jewish man sends his son to Israel
A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while. Eventually he returns home and he is now a Christian. The man finds this odd so he mentions it to his friend.
The friend listens, thinks for a moment and says "That's odd. I sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian." So the two of them went to see the Rabbi.
They told the Rabbi the story of how they had both sent their sons to Israel as Jews, and how both sons had returned as Christian's. The Rabbi listened, thought for a minute and then said "That's odd. I also sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian.
So the three of them decide to go to Israel to find out what's going on over there. They arrive and go straight to the Western Wall to pray. They explain to God all about how they sent their sons to Israel as Jews and how they all returned as Christians.
There is a long silence, and then God begins to speak saying, "That's odd I sent . . ."
Two men are playing golf when one realises he's left his jacket at the last tee
He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back. "What's up?" asks his mate. "Well, you see those two women at the tee. One's my wife, and she's playing with my mistress." His mate laughs and says, "No worries, I'll go get it for you." He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says "Small world."
I saw my dwarf of a neighbour at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I offered.
"Fuck off!" He yelled.
"What an ungrateful little cunt," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and kept walking.
A worker at a cucumber factory had this strange urge...
He wanted to stick his dick into the cucumber cutter. The urge was growing and growing until he decided to visit a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist found that the only way to heal the urge was to actually go ahead and do it.
The next day the worker came home early, his wife asked why. Ashamed, he admitted he had this urge to stick his dick into the cucumber cutter, went to the psychiatrist, who told him to do it so he went ahead and did it. So he got fired immediately.
His wife in shock checked whether everything was ok with his "belongings". Everything was fine... so she asked: "What happend to the cucumber cutter?"
Worker: " I think she got fired, too!"
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