... and he’ll rob everyone for the rest of their lives
Thứ Bảy, 16 tháng 1, 2021
My son asked me where does poo come from
I sighed and explained it to him in great detail. He then looked at me perplexed and said "well what about Tigger?"
Jesus and Satan disputed on a typing contest
Satan had a last generation computer, three monitors, two keyboards, he was a beast dishing out words, typing whole paragraphs in seconds, everyone was astonished by his typing skills.
Jesus had a pentium IV, barely finding the letters and slowly typing with only his index fingers. Everyone was sure about the outcome and feared for the fate of humanity.
The bigger text after one hour would take the prize, at the 59' minute mark Satan had typed 3000 pages of text while Jesus was barely finishing his second, when suddenly the lights went out and both computers reset.
When it all came back, Satan had lost all his work and Jesus, with his 1 and a half page was the winner of the clash.
Moral of the story: Only Jesus saves
My wife died.
After she died, I couldn't even look at another woman for almost 20 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it.
A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel.
On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well sister, this looks pretty grim." "I know, father." "In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two." "I agree." "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?" "Anything father." "I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours." "Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm." The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. "Sister would you mind if I touched them?" She consented and he fondled them for several minutes. "Father, could I ask something of you?" "Yes sister?" "I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?" "I supposed that would be OK," the priest replied lifting his robe. "Oh father, may I touch it?" This time the priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection. "Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life." "Is that true father?" "Yes it is, sister." "Then why don't you stick it up that camel's ass and lets get the hell out of here."
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